He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
