i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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