3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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