Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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