I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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