I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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