I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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