I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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