I wish i was in the wii world.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
