My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Sorry my hands just texted you
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
