what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
