Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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