You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize