Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
