wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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