He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
