i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
