i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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