Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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