grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
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