What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
