walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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