How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize