Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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