You were right. It hurts to walk today.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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