mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
