I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
