Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
