his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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