Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
