You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
