its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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