So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
