apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
