i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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