YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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