Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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