u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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