i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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