Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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