remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
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