yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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