is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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