grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i drank out of a bidet.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
