Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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