Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
