Are we in a gay sports bar?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
