Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
why do cheetos always look like penises
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
