sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
