i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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