and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
