Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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