just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
