So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
