wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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