I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
