Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
