Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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