this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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