u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
