I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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